I know this is a really important time in
the United State right now. I want to reflect on the significance and hold this
time because I know it is important.
But I freeze.
I hear and read
the words of the prophets and poets. I know I’m not there yet… and I stop. But
I also hear the words “and won’t you help me sing these songs of freedom,” and
I know I have to try. My words will be inadequate. I feel it—just like I feel
when they are right on (when they are a gift from God). I know saying that
current events in the United Sates give me a great sadness doesn’t speak the
whole truth. Being ashamed disappointed and frustrated and saying that over and
over again doesn’t make those feelings more true or valid. Those words also
don’t summarize, reflect or describe the whole truth.
I can’t explain
it, and I can’t feel it—not fully. The half-truths feel inadequate. My inadequacies and shortcomings make me
grateful for where I am. Where I am forces me to “accept the anxiety of
feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete.” I know I’m not ready yet. I’m not
a prophet or a poet. I don’t have the words of heeling my country begs for. I
don’t have the actions to affect change.
Yes, this is an
important time. It’s a time of action, and sometimes I feel an anxiety and
guilt of watching it all from the sidelines. For me this historically significant
time is not a time for action and
taking to the street and social change. Instead, this is a time of observation
and prayer. It’s a time to learn humility, respect, tolerance and compassion.
It’s a time to step back
and take the long view.
The long view is
a perspective of obedience and gratitude. It’s surrender to God and
thanksgiving for where She takes us and how she is alive in the world. Yes,
this is an important time… because the Kingdom of God is at hand. But HOW do we
build the Kingdom of God? It’s the question we’re all screaming—to each other
and the high heavens. I’m actually not sure it’s for me to say. After all, I’m
the worker, not the master builder. I’m learning something about being a
worker…
Felizes los que trabajan por la paz porque sera
hijos de Dios.
Happy are those who work for peace, for they will become children of
God.
With great faith
in her loving parents, a child of God happily works for peace. I don’t know how
to build the Kingdom. Instead of begging for answers and lamenting results, I’m
praying for faith. Faith knows and believes that the same hand that created the
mountains and the oceans and every breath of life in between is still building.
The faith may not know how to build
the Kingdom, but it knows what is
God. Faith sees.
I see the
Kingdom in my students when they play soccer. The Kingdom is an oasis in the
desert. It is a hug from an old friend. The Kingdom is the campesino (farmer). It is sunburnt faces, rough hands and dirty
feet. People working together in solidarity. The Kingdom of God is a child who
wants to learn, and the mother begging on the street. And of course it is the
seed… full of hope and promise, the future of joy with God.
Now
I see the Kingdom of God. More than asking why
haven’t I seen it before or how can I see it more often, I am filled with
gratitude, wonder and awe.
With these Graces, even if I don’t know the
steps, how can I not jump in the
dance?
I let God move
me
In her rhythm and time
Through my fears and
inadequacies
I work for peace with the happiness of a
child dancing with her father.
With a faithful soul and full heart, I participate
in the dance.
I sing songs of freedom.
