See the Leaves

I've got a thing about leaves.

Leaves
Are
Spectacular

They are full of life, full of different colors and shapes and sizes. They befriend the wind and dance in the sunlight.
But the reason why leaves are so special... why we savor a really crunchy leaf and marvel at the light in a canopy... It's because leaves are usually just blobs. Typically we don't notice them. So, when we take the time to see the leaves, we realize that leaves are spectacular. We think, "How am I missing out on this?" I love leaves because they are so ordinary, but we find they are extraordinary when we really look at them.
Leaves are my small reminder to engage in the world around me.
We forget (at least I do) to pay attention and participate sometimes. School, jobs, events, drama, planning... we focus on the shit and fail to see the leaves. We forget how to live alive and engaged with the world around us.
Leaves remind me how I want to live.

So, how fitting is it that I graduated on the Avenue of the Oaks?
The end of college is hectic: senior projects, graduation events, the last moments with friends, hosting family at school...
I was so busy that I wasn't really paying attention to the spirits moving within me. Despite the emotionality of it all, I was somehow on autopilot.
Then I looked up at the canopy and saw the leaves of those grand oaks doing their familiar dance with the morning sunlight. And I welcomed tears for the first time during the graduation ceremony. I listened for the birds and rustle of wind. After weeks of stress, I breathed because I could see the leaves. In this moment of wonder, a deep gratitude filled my lungs. This felt like a beginning rather than an end.

I learned a lot during my time at Spring Hill- about myself, God and the world around me. College (especially this past year) was a spark plug. I shot out ready to set the world on fire, specifically by serving as a Jesuit Volunteer. However, my two-year volunteer rotation does not start until November.
I decided to start my blog here because this will be my challenge for the next six months:

to see the leaves.

My JVC journey began months ago. Through discernment and the application process, I found a home with the Jesuit Volunteer Corps. Here, I can continue growing in Ignatian spirituality. I can continue becoming myself as I learn more about how I am connected to God and others. As I begin making my home in JVC, I embrace a simple and intentional lifestyle. This is the way I want to live. This is the way I know how to be alive. My desire to be alive, to be fully present, means that I look to my November departure for Tacna, Peru with great joy and excitement. But this desire is so strong that I cannot wait six months!
My life does not begin with Tacna. My life is now. So, now when I am living at home, nannying, coaching... now I need to participate in the ordinary. That doesn't mean giving myself a long list of things to do or accomplish during this time to make sure I "get out" or "experience life." It means engaging in daily life- even if that is going to the bank, cleaning my room and cooking dinner- and especially if that means walking with Mom, dancing with the kids and kayaking with friends.
I refuse to wait, so I am challenging myself to see the leaves. Friends and family, bienvenidos! Welcome to my struggle to see. Thank you in advance for accompanying me now and throughout my JVC journey. I look forward to being present with you in this intentional, joyful and meaningful time!

Paz,
Maddie