I’m understanding more and more that
faith is about showing up.
That’s all I’ve been able to do
this first month in country. Show up. This is because, by and large, I’ve spent
most of my time recently waiting.
Between May and November, I waited
for my departure day.
When I arrived here, I spent the first two weeks visiting the different Jesuit works here (three schools and an afterschool center for kids in need). I waited to move in with my host family.
I moved in with my host family, spent days at my school, Miguel Pro: in meetings, observing classes, practicing teaching. I waited for Christmas.
I spent Christmas with my host family, and I waited to move into the JV house.
I moved into the JV house, and I’m waiting for mes de misión, a month-long service project in a small mountain/desert town with kids from the school.
I’m waiting for school to start in March, when I’ll know my students, classes, etc.
When I arrived here, I spent the first two weeks visiting the different Jesuit works here (three schools and an afterschool center for kids in need). I waited to move in with my host family.
I moved in with my host family, spent days at my school, Miguel Pro: in meetings, observing classes, practicing teaching. I waited for Christmas.
I spent Christmas with my host family, and I waited to move into the JV house.
I moved into the JV house, and I’m waiting for mes de misión, a month-long service project in a small mountain/desert town with kids from the school.
I’m waiting for school to start in March, when I’ll know my students, classes, etc.
All the while, I’m waiting to feel
at home: for the day when language, friends and work come a little more
naturally… it’s the “feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete.” –Teilhard de
Chardin, S.J.
Clearly I’m praying for patient trust.
How appropriate to have spent my advent season waiting! It’s hard to wait because there isn’t a lot you can do while you’re waiting. I still don’t know a lot about life here, so I’m really limited. I can’t even prep for my classes because I don’t know what/if I’ll be teaching! Unable to see the “final product” (after all, like Romero says, we’re the workers not the master builders) and anxious to encounter some sage-like version of myself that will emerge in a few months or even a couple years, there is one thing that I can do every single day. I can show up.
Clearly I’m praying for patient trust.
How appropriate to have spent my advent season waiting! It’s hard to wait because there isn’t a lot you can do while you’re waiting. I still don’t know a lot about life here, so I’m really limited. I can’t even prep for my classes because I don’t know what/if I’ll be teaching! Unable to see the “final product” (after all, like Romero says, we’re the workers not the master builders) and anxious to encounter some sage-like version of myself that will emerge in a few months or even a couple years, there is one thing that I can do every single day. I can show up.
Sometimes I bring a lot to the table, like when my Spanish is inexplicably on fleek. These are the days full of possibility, and I’m excited by the magic of this desert.
Sometimes I show up with very little, like when I’m feeling down or broken.
These are the days I do the best I can and let God and the people around me take care of the rest. But each day I show up- without knowing what I’m doing or where I’m going. Truly, this is an act of great faith.
I’m praying to be a better worker (Romero).
And each day, I encounter God. I see God in the far-off Andes mountains during a bus ride. In the kindness of my coworkers. In my welcoming community mates. In the wind. In feeling peaceful or at home. Most of all, I see God in all that She has to teach me here. God is in the opportunity, in the hope.
God is with us in the suspense, helping us show up each day as we wait for the coming of His son. And so we can rejoice in the anxiety of feeling ourselves in suspense and incomplete! This is the time we discover the joy of God helping us (Psalm 13). While being frustrated with the waiting, how we falta (lack) with our humanity… suddenly we are given reason to celebrate humanity. This is the greatest reason of all- the birth of Christ. So at midnight on Christmas Eve, break out the panetón (a Christmas season staple in Peru… sort of like a fruit cake), chocolada (hot chocolate), cuetes (fireworks), besos, abrazos and of course
La Paz
Maddie
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